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His favorite place was the bathroom, lecturing me, degrading me for hours.
I’d be stuck in the bathroom all night long, terrified, wanting to get out. But I
could not escape, I am so small. My brain would get numb, I would think, "He’s
right, something’s wrong with me," and I’d say, "I’m sorry."
As soon as I agreed with him, he’d be so nice. The honeymoon time. And
then it would start over. I got hurt so many times.The police
gave me a card with the number of a shelter. I was still married to him when I first
knocked on that shelter door. I didn’t know what was going on, I didn’t
have anyone in this country. I needed help but I was so scared to tell anyone.
So I went to ask what I should do. I thought it was only me, it only happened in my
house. At the shelter they told me it wasn’t my fault, and they told me about the
cycle of violence. The pattern was exactly the same for me. And then in a group session,
each woman there was talking the same story, the same situations, the same pain. I
kept thinking, they’re talking about him. I wasn’t alone any longer. I
felt so alone for so long when I was with my husband. It’s ironic, now that I’m
alone for the first time alone in my life, I don’t feel lonely at all. It feels
good to be independent. |
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